Typical Summer Day in Slightly Cracked House

6:30 – Wake up to Husband’s alarm, which is right next to my head, because then he has to get out of bed to turn it off.

6:35 – go back to sleep after he turns it off.

7:00 – Wake up again when husband kisses me goodbye. Wonder if I actually love him enough to have him WAKE ME up to kiss me goodbye.

8:30 – Wake up to creepy 3 year old staring at me from the foot of my bed. Am reminded of old TV movie “Don’t go to sleep”.

(Spend half the day trying to find this movie for sale for less than $80 for a VHS copy, decide to watch it on YouTube).

8:35 – Make coffee and cereal for 3 year old.

8:40 – Realize that coffee is for me and cereal is for three year old. Fix this immediately.

8:45 – Sit at computer to read my stories blogs and drink coffee.

9:00 – Take 3 year old to school. Late. For the third day in a row.

9:10 – 5 year old comes downstairs, complains that he is hungry. Tell him to wait until I finish reading this blog.

9:25 – 5 year old complains LOUDLY that he is hungry. Decide I have put him off long enough. Fix him cereal.

9:30 – 5 year old starts picking on 2 year old. Look outside, see it is raining, turn on TV.

9:45 – It’s sunny out. Tell kids to go outside.

9:50 – Starts raining again. Kids come in wet and complaining. Turn TV on again.

10:00 – Finish reading my blog roll. Read only the lifestyle section in the news. Check in with class.

10:15 – Put away food stuffs from neighbors that are moving, because I am the only one who can do this. Even though we always keep the oil/peanut butter/sugar/pasta in the same place. Apparently I am the only magical person who knows where this stuff is kept.

10:45 – Do dishes from last night and this morning. Find toy train waiting to be washed. Wonder why. Realize that banana has been stuffed inside the toy. Try to remove banana from toy.

11:15 – THROW TRAIN AWAY.

11:20 – Wash George Foreman grill. Get crud all over wall. Decide I need a new GF grill.

11:25- Wash wall with said GF grill crud.

12:00 – Pick up 3 year old from school. Learn that this is costing me $50 a day. Tell teacher I will see her in September.

12:30 – Wake up lazy teenage daughter. Time for lunch.

1:00 – make 5 year old and 3 year old clean up board games that 2 year old has taken apart.

1:30 – Try to figure out how to convince children that have only been awake for 4 hours to take a nap.

2:00 – Give up on nap. Decide to go for a run. Realize it’s raining. Wait for sun.

2:05 – Sunny. Go for a run.

2:15 – Come back soaked.

2:30 – Realize day is wasted with rain and no rain. Go to grocery store for a few things.

4:15 – Return from grocery store. Put watermelon on the dining room table.

4:20 – Tell 5 year old to put the watermelon back.

4:25 – Tell 3 year old to put the watermelon back.

4:30 – Tell 2 year old to GET OFF THE TABLE AND STOP TOUCHING THE WATERMELON.

4:35 – Clean up broken watermelon.

4:50 – Make chili for dinner.

5:30 – Blend up broccoli for chili because no one will eat anything green if they know it’s there.

5:35 – Teenage daughter and husband walk in while I’m blending broccoli. Ask what I’m blending broccoli for.

5:45 – Dinner is served. Husband asks incessantly what happened to that broccoli. Finally give in and tell him it’s in the chili. HUSBAND refuses to eat chili. Tell him IT’S ALWAYS GOT BROCCOLI IN IT.

6:15 – Send kids outside as the sun has finally come out.

7:30 – Bring everyone inside for baths and bed.

8:00 – Put diaper on 2 year old. Help 3 year old with his clothes.

8:05 – put diaper BACK on 2 year old. Read stories.

8:30 – Find children hiding in TV room. Order them to bed. Put diaper back on 2 year old.

8:45 – Put 2 year old back in bed. Put diaper back on 2 year old.

9:00 – Put 2 year old back in bed. Put diaper back on 2 year old.

9:15 – Put 2 year old in crib.

10:00 – Check on kids to see if they are asleep. Run around house to find missing child. Find him sleeping in sister’s room or TV room. Put diaper back on 2 year old.

10:15 – Collapse into bed.