Bacon? Anyone?

My neighbors are moving out. They've lived here for 6 years and have aquired quite a bit of stuff to rid themselves of over the years. We have been the official dumping spot for all things to get rid of.

They've brought these:

AWESOME!

And these:

Good to have.

And these:

How much fake ice does one need exactly?

And these:

We're crafty in this house.

And these:

Apparently they like ketchup and were super afraid of running out.

And these:

Pamela thought they were trying to poison us.

But the best of all was this:

Who knows the funniest part of this? That's right, we don't eat pork! How AWESOME that our neighbors know us so well.

Does anyone want any bacon?

The Job Interview (or how not to get hired)

I was the first to enter and the woman says to me:

L: "Hi, I'm L. I think you live in the building next to me."

Me: "Um, no, I don't think so." (Knowing full well that she is not a Swedish family.)

L: "Yeah, you moved into J.'s building."

Me: "No. I know where she lives and I live outside of town."

L: "Oh, I really thought you lived in that building. So how do you like Warsaw."

Me: "Um, it's good. I've lived here for a year now, so I'm pretty well settled in."

L: "Oh, I thought you were new."

Me: "Ohhhhh. I think you have me confused with Phoebe. Who is 60. And moved here for a particular job at the embassy. And therefore would not be looking for another job. Or at least her supervisors would be pretty ticked to know that. And it would be pretty hard to hide that she decided to take another job with another office in. the. embassy. But thanks."

So I didn't get the job (don't really know yet, but trust me...won't be totally surprising. People don't like it so much when you tell them they're stupid).

Happy Birthday to Who?

Dylan's mom forwarded us this email yesterday:

Dear Montana:

"Happy Birthday" from your friends at Baker Jackson Nissan North!

I hope you and Samuel are getting along well and that Samuel is taking good care of you. If you have any bumps and scratches, aches or pains, just come in and see us. We are here to care for you. As always if there is anything I can do, please call me at Baker Jackson Nissan North at 281-890-5656.

I hope you and your owner have an excellent day!

Respectfully,
Kevin Allen
General Manager

How many things are wrong with this email? First, Dylan's mom forwarded it to us and she was the previous owner, so they kept her email address and changed the name. Second, we haven't had this car in almost 2 years. And does anyone think it's odd that a person has to write a birthday card to an inanimate object?

Here's my response:

Dear Kevin,

Unfortunately, I have passed away and gone on to Pontiac heaven. Samuel has found a new love, as I always hoped he would. Her name is VX-800 (sounds exotic, no?) and she comes from the land of Suzuki (I think it's in Japan). We need not correspond any longer, as that is frowned upon here, but I do thank you for your birthday wishes.

Sincerely,

Montana

And here's another LO for y'all. I hand cut the title letters (since I don't have a Cricut:).


Oh, and yesterday I forgot to say that was my take on Becky's Sketch from the May 2008 issue of Creating Keepsakes.