Embassy Living...

We were at dinner last night with another member of the embassy, and I realized that sometimes, I don't fit in. It's saddened me, particularly with the knowledge that I don't have a job in Warsaw and I'll be staying at home all the time with my three kids (the fourth one is in school). I don't really know what a lot of people are talking about when they talk about stuff going on at the embassy and then there are the things that you can't know because you don't have the correct colored badge. Not that I want to know...I just really feel excluded sometimes.

I know that when most spouses get together with people that their spouse works with they feel left out, but the whole reason we do what we do is because my husband works at the embassy. So there's a small portion of people to draw on there and most of them work at the embassy or having to do with the embassy...and I don't. But I guess that's neither here nor there.

I won't be working in Warsaw because I didn't get the job I wanted and there won't be anything else that I want to do. Plus, I never want to have to go through the interview process there again. I guess I feel like I failed because I didn't get the job, no matter that they wanted someone to start before I got there. Really, it's a humiliating experience to have to be interviewed by this group of 8 or 10 people that you won't be working for, only to find out that there was never a chance in hell of you getting the job in the first place. It's just that they can't make it seem like they based their decision on exactly what they based their decision on...

Now I have become a whiny blogger, but I don't think anyone is reading anymore anyway, so I suppose it's OK now.