Green Light

Me: I think the light is melting.

Dylan: Mmm, hmm.

Me: No, I really think the light is melting.

Dylan: What light?

Me: The outside one that you turned on last night.

Dylan (goes outside to look): Um, yeah. “Dear Work Orders.”

“Dear Work Orders:

We turned on our outside light and left it on all night. It melted. We really would love to see it catch fire, but it is located too close to the house. Please move said light at least 100 feet from the back door.”