Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Facebook: Tool of the Devil or Awesome?

I finally gave in and joined the masses on Facebook on Saturday. I blame my very best friend - from the time we were 6 years old - (do you see a theme here? I've known my husband since we were 12 and my best friend since we were 6...I guess I don't like change). She's never been a big fan of computer related nonsense, so when she joined, I knew I had to. I'm a huge fan of computer related nonsense.

The thing I liked least about Facebook was the idea that people I used to know could contact me and "friend" me (BernThis wrote a lovely post that expressed the kind of anxiety that kept me from getting on to FB). My theory was that if I hadn't kept in contact with you, there was a reason.

So I thought I'd be all stealthy and put my married name with absolutely NO MENTION of my maiden name. This way only people who know me now could contact me. Mwahahahaha!

Except that most of the people that we went to high school with knew only one person named Kylie. Most of them jumped to the conclusion that because Kylie and Dylan dated in high school, that Dylan probably married that same Kylie.

And (in a moment of complete and utter stupidity, no matter how hard I tried I COULD NOT put "Kylie is in an open relationship with Dylan" and then go and confirm it for him because I have his login information knowing that it would pop up in his profile as a status change and all 2000 of his friends would see it - sometimes I really hate the fact that I actually care what people think) I linked my account to my husband's. He had a lot of people that I knew (and he has no recollection of) in high school on his friend list. So some of them have sent me a friend request.

And I don't know which is worse. The fact that some of them have sent me a friend request or that some of them haven't.

But the most important thing I have learned is that the popular people in high school remained popular. And that no matter what I tell my daughter and how many times we watch "Mean Girls" and believe that things will change and life will not always be like high school, those popular people are just built different. Their personalities are different.

But I guess, as long as you don't live in the FB world, life isn't like high school.

That said, if you send me a friend request (and I haven't already been on FB begging you to be my friend so that I can no longer look like a loser with only 35 friends - just like high school), I would never click ignore.


  1. Wow, i like your new look Kylie...

    Facebook sucks. but I'm on it because it shuts everyone up. Be my friend? :)

  2. So much for stealth huh?

    You're right about the popular kids, and something about it all certainly reminds me of school.

    Anyway, welcome to the *cough cough* real world.

  3. Hm. I've been reading a lot of articles and blog posts about FB recently. Like you, I figured that if I joined (which I haven't), I'd just use my married name with no mention of my maiden name.

    But...I spent so many years trying to get away from the "popularity = value as a human being" equation that seemed to govern high school life, and FB kinda scares me because it seems like that equation applies more than ever. I was not, and never will be, the bubbly popular cheerleader...but that doesn't matter because doggone it, I'm good enough and smart enough anyway (Stuart Smalley).

    But as Mo says, maybe that's just the way the world works and as long as you're aware of that...FB could be lots of fun. Hm. I look forward to reading more of your adventures!

  4. Great for re-finding old frineds, but silly for all the other stuff (in my opinion).

  5. Everything you wrote is so true. I was neither the popular kid nor was I the antisocial or nerdy kid. I kind of fell in the middle where I wasn't necessarily popular for some particular reason, but popular in the sense that I could move between groups easily. I think it is nice to see people I haven't seen in years and see what they are up to without having to go through the motions of attending a reunion. But, personally, the more friends that accrue on my FB account, the more pressure there is to keep in touch. I can barely keep in touch with people that are actually in my life now, much less all the virtual ones. Plus, the requests for all the stupid apps gets out of hand. So, I wouldn't worry about acquiring more friends. Just be happy with the "real" ones you've got.

  6. AHEM...as one of the people who has added you as a friend on FB as soon I saw you join and that you were linked to Dylan and as one of those people who knew you in High school (and jr. high for that matter) I will not take this post as a personal attack since I actually read this blog and have had lunch and dinner with you in the recent past. Thank you ;)

  7. I LOVE the new header!!

    (We're facebook friends now, right????)

  8. HI! I came over from Vodka Mom's. Anything POLAND intrigues me. My father was born there but I've only visited once 40 years ago.

  9. This is so true! I am being stalked by someone that I went to High School with and I don't even remember her. She sends me crap everyday!

  10. I love Facebook, but like you, just put my maiden name, but then I look familiar to my teenage self so everybody recognised me. I do feel smug having lots of friends, but they're not really friends and I do admit I've only added some of them so I can be nosey too - oh the shame ;0)

  11. I meant to say married name!!

  12. FB is totally addicting...and what's up with all those goofy "send a friend a drink" and "start a farm" crap...but anyway..I'm totally going to add you as a friend!!

  13. I love clicking ignore. It's my way of saying, "If I wasn't good enough to be you friend then, you aren't good enough to be my friend now." I pride myself on having my friends actualy be friends. That reminds me, I need to delete a few people.

  14. I joined FB to keep in touch with current friends, the HS friends who found me are more of an afterthought (there are some exceptions though). But I've had the same feelings, avoiding "friending" the popular girls, but disappointed they haven't friended me (so I can ignore them? Maybe I'd be that strong).

    Anyway, my one really good true friend from HS isn't even on FB, which is kind of funny.

  15. It's an awesome tool of the devil.

    I've gotten better about hitting ignore. But not so good about avoiding the word games. Crack anyone?


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