Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Gym? This Is a Gym?

About 4 months ago I posted about my gym, and how I loved it so.

And as with many love affairs, things have started to grow...annoying.

I'm happy. Mostly. There are getting to be far too many people there. They have only 4 ellipticals and apparently every mom out there loves the things. Which means I spend a lot of time waiting.

But I can deal with waiting.

Today, one of the "trainers" came up to me, while I was on the treadmill, and asked me if I would like to try the new Garmin takes-your-pulse-rate-tells-you-how-long-you've-been-running-lets-you-know-if-you're ovulating-makes-your-appointments-for-you watch. I told her, "No, thanks, I've got an iPhone. It's what I was listening to when you interrupted me. And, um, last I looked this was a gym, not a sports store."

When I went to the weight room, the president of the PTO from my kids' school was there. She used to be a world famous violinist, speaks fluent Italian, was an English teacher, got her PhD and was a lawyer. She can do everything. Except (deleted because my husband editor thought it was too harsh - but it was good, SO good)...change her own ink cartridges.

Anyway, I sat down at the lat pulldown machine and she came over and said, "As a former bodybuilding teacher, I just wanted to let you know that you're doing this wrong. You need to just almost touch your chest. And use more weight. You want to be able to do a pull up, right?"

Yeah, whatever.

Just after she interrupted me a "trainer" came to me and motioned for me to take off my headphones. As I was in the middle of the reps, I was reluctant, but did so because I'm a slave to authority. She said, "Can I help you?"

I stared at her and said, "No." I mean, did I ask for your help? Did I in anyway indicate that I wanted your help?

She then said, "I just wanted to let you know that you're doing this wrong. This exercise is designed for men who want to build their muscle in their back. You, as a woman, should be pulling the bar behind your head. You don't want to build muscle because you're a woman."

WTF? Um, isn't this a gym? Don't people come here to build muscle? If I didn't want to build muscle would I be in the weight room? And on top of that your advice, AS A TRAINER, is that people should strain their necks?

I've always been a bigger muscled girl. I work hard at it. I've probably been "building muscle" since my "trainer" was in diapers. But never, ever even on my absolute best day would anyone have mistaken me for a man because of my "big" muscles.

Yeah, the love affair may be coming to an end.


  1. Is this the ONLY gym around? Maybe you should ask THEM that. Ask them for advice (they probably know that, too) on where else you could go... Do you think they would get the message?

  2. How annoying. When I'm working out, I just want to sweat thankyouverymuch. Not get sold stuff. Sheesh.

  3. I would just skip the gym entirely, don't you have more fun things to do like play with your iphone?


    Actually, I saw a guy once using (by the sound of things) the same equipment. He was arching his back so badly and straining so much I nearly stopped him.

    "Listen mister, you will look like a troll if you continue"

    If I see him again maybe I will!

  4. Oh, man, two of my pet peeves. One, I hate soemone trying to sell me something I am not there to buy. And I absolutely DETEST unsolicited advice.

  5. That PTO president and trainer are asking for tickets to your *gun show* if you ask me*!*

  6. Okay that sounds annoying! LOL at the gun show joke. I need to work out so you should be proud you go to the gym period.

  7. Time for a gym t-shirt that reads "I am not listening to you"

  8. Well, I can tell you with utmost certainty that THAT would drive me BANANAS in no time flat. When I go to the gym (which I don't, but if I did), I want to be left alone, unless I initiate contact.

    Maybe you need to start grimacing, and enter with furrowed brow, and people will be scared of you and leave you be?

  9. I hope you build enough muscle that you can reach out and crack the trainer's neck next time. Feh.

    I'm dying to know your deleted comment about the PTO non-ink-cartridge changer.

  10. Yeah, I'm with Mo...skip the gym. Starbucks anywhere near? :)))

  11. Hee! You know, one of the things that aggravated me the most about the gym was the unending stream of busybody(builders) who were just determined to "correct" me in whatever I was doing.

    Never mind that I was listening to my iPod (the universal signal for Leave Me Alone) and that I have been working out regularly since 19-freaking-98 and thus I know what I'm doing.

    Now, I can tell my Pilates DVD Lady to shove it and she doesn't seem to mind at all :-)

  12. Hahaha... sounds very European to me. Very Italian in fact. I'm always being told "no, no, no... you don't want that. This is what you want."


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