Monday, June 30, 2008

I Kissed A Girl

Over the weekend, we met up with our little group of international (read: not Polish) friends at the park so that our Spanish friend could serve us all “good” paella.

Anyone who’s traveled to Europe, or really anywhere outside the U.S. knows that upon greeting your friends you are supposed to kiss. The kissing confuses me totally. After all these years of being overseas, as soon as I see a non-American, non-Canadian, or non-British, these are the thoughts that run through my head: “Do you think anyone would notice if I just scootched up under this table?” “They’re definitely going to expect me to kiss them.” “Is it 2,3 or 4 kisses?” and when they come up from behind you with no warning “F**k! I’m caught!”.

We see the Spanish friends often enough that I remember upon approach all the kissing etiquette of Spain. Shortly after we arrived and greeted the Spanish friends, the Greek friends arrived. Unfortunately I was backed into a corner and unable to escape from the kisses (which I know is incredibly rude, but it really makes me uncomfortable). I kissed the Greek man and the woman was next. I assume it was my faux pax, but she started on the wrong side and we kissed on the lips. (Imagine you are leaning to kiss someone on their left cheek and they also lean to kiss you on your right. Yep, that’s a full on lip kiss!)

For the rest of the party, I did my alternative of parking myself in the center of a long table so that I could just wave, or at the most shake hands with people as they arrived. I was hiding out in trees (literally!) when the German arrived, because, unfair or not – I avoid her like the plague. It’s all fun and games until somebody touches my breast!


  1. Sooner or later it was bound to happen. Too many rules!!! I agree that would make me uncomfortable too. the people would definitely be in my no zone..and what about respecting our etiquette???? LOL

  2. HAHAAAHAAA.....

    Maybe you could pencil in a cold-sore around your mouth to disuade folks next time.

  3. I believe that I will just stay here in the US where the only girls I have to kiss are my kids and very close friends!

  4. Yikes...uncomfortable....

    I only know about the Greeks because I married one...I get kissed, hugged, pinched, and danced with every time. Funny thing is, I'm so used to it now...I get sort of sad when (for whatever reason) they don't ;)

  5. I too have kissed a Spanish woman full on on the lips because of this confusing custom of kissing on both cheeks! We both went the same direction and "muah!" we locked lips. It was quite interesting. I was 17 and she was in her early 20s. Her boyfriend was there so I'm sure he found the whole thing very amusing. I, on the other hand, was mortified and I was glad I was getting on a train and going away.


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