Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Blaze, or not...

So you may have seen this comment yesterday (followed by my embarrassing confession of how I actually blog):


This from my real life friend. Thanks;).

So, um, Stewie burned his right hand. He opened the oven door while I was cooking AND IN THE SAME ROOM and touched the 400 degree F oven full on with open palm.

Yeah, that kind of sucked.

So we made a trip to the E.R.

As I sat in the E.R., that must have been built in about 1945 and has not been remodeled since, on Friday/date night with The evil youngest one Stewie, I noticed a few weird little things about Poland. First of all, they don't have fancy "triage" in the E.R. It's just whoever shows up first. Just like every other doctor's appointment. "Yeah, yeah, 3rd degree burns, Wait your turn!"

They also didn't have a place to change a baby, but that's par for the course in this country so I wasn't particularly put off by that, aside from the fact that I have to go to the "Children's" hospital because only the "Children's" hospital can see anyone under age 18. Seriously.

Anyway, they also had no soap, paper towels, or toilet paper in the bathroom. And the toilet that was for "staff only" was locked. Presumably because of the stockpile of soap, toilet paper and paper towels.

They did have this one cool room, and because I did not have my phone on me I didn't get a photo. The "Sala Reanymacja". The Reanimation room! I so wanted to get behind that door. I'm convinced that they are keeping the Terminator back there.

It was locked though.

At about the point that I was trying to break into the Reanimation room to get a glimpse of the Terminator - ooh, I could control him for my own purposes. And get my invisibility cloak. That would be kick ass.


At about that point, the doctor decided they could see us. Something about "Hey Lady, you're not supposed to go in there. Stop trying to break in and see things that DON'T EXIST playing with the doors."

And he had 2nd degree burns on his palm and fingers and they cleaned it, BROKE THE BLISTERS!, and wrapped it, telling us (all in Polish) that we need to keep this on for 2 days and come back to the E.R. on Sunday.

Right. On both accounts.

Ever tried to keep a two year old's hand wrapped? It's a bit like putting a cat in a burlap sack and carrying it across country on your back, when you've had no food or water and you have to walk the 2000 miles.

So the wrap was off before we pulled into our driveway.

I'm not that persistent. I gave up at that point.

Monday, we took him to the doctor to have him looked at (not the E.R.). They also cleaned, ointmented, and wrapped and told us to keep it on for 5 days. It was off by the time we stopped at the corner store.

And then the nurse walked in.

She said, "Oh, Kylie. You HAVE to keep that wrap on."

And I was all, "Right, Beyotch, I KNOW. But unless I duct tape him to a bed, he's NEVER gonna keep that thing on! Do you want him?"

But I actually said, "I know. I'll do what I can."

So I did.

Yes, I totally duct taped a glove to my son's hand AND took pictures AND sent him to school like that. I am the best mom EVER!


  1. Awww...I am glad Stewie's hand is OK. Hey, if you have to keep the dressing on, then you gotta do what you gotta do. (Horrible grammar, yes!) "When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape!" It sounds like the ER was quite an experience, though. And I would like to know what was in the Reanimation Room. It conjured up images of zombies to me :-0

  2. The duct tape is awesome but the glove is a stroke of genius.

    My two year old broke her arm then promptly threw up all over the cast. Smelled lovely.

  3. So, I kicked you into high gear into getting this blog out, huh? ;) Glad to hear Stewie is ok. Trust me I now know how quick these little stinkers can be!! My daughter had my cell phone charger cable in her mouth and had chewed through the external plastic stuff to the cable and I was 2 feet from her (ok, so her teeth are sharper than the latest set of Ginzu knives on late night TV, go figure). I love that you duct taped the glove on!! When my daughter was 3-4 mo old the Dr. kep t saying to have her sleep on her back...wel I tried,m but she kept flipping over. I finally sewed a couple of strips of velro to her bedding and to her PJs just to make it a little harder to flip over in her sleep. Does that make me evil?

  4. OMG!!! There is never a dull moment in your household! The uses of duct tape never cease to amaze me!

  5. Nice work with the duct tape. You rule.

  6. Brilliant. I volunteer in an ER here in L.A. and I can't even imagine being in anything less modern than that. I am such a hypochondriac. I'm glad your son is okay and I have to say, very ingenious with the duct tape.

  7. Just found you from your comment on my blog. So you're in Poland? That's awesome. And I'm glad his hand is ok, and that is a great use for duct tape.

  8. That's an awesome glove! It looks like something I would have done. :)

  9. You gotta do what you gotta do. Duct taping the glove on was brilliant.

  10. I just love reading about you and your families misadventures...it makes me realize I am not alone...I love the duct tape..and I'm glad he's ok...

  11. Ambra gets PolishedNov 27, 2008, 9:18:00 AM

    Gotta love Polish ER. Ever rushed to the (children's!) emergency only to find that hospital is closed on this particular weekend and you have to go to emergency at another hospital (the list of "shifts" is kindly posted on the front door of the hospital--in Polish)? Yeah, it's nice. But the duct tape looks like some sort of superhero experiment. I think I want one.


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