Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Seasonal Ambiguous Disorder - Updated

Last week I went to see the psychiatrist because of my blues. I generally try to keep this blog as my happy place (and pretty much everywhere else because as a neurotically depressed teenager you learn that people don't really want to be around the sad, depressing person, which just leads you to being more depressed, and so on. Like that old anti drug commercial about cocaine. But for me it's more, I seem happy so I can have more friends so I can seem happier so I can have more friends...)

ANYWAY, I went to the psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with Seasonal Affective Disorder and prescribed me a light. A FREAKING LIGHT. AND it costs over $200.

And because my field of study has been psychology, I was like, "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PSYCHIATRIST ARE YOU? You're supposed to be a drug dealer. Hey, drug dealer! WHERE ARE MY DRUGS???"

Yeah, but I didn't do that because then I might have been committed. Or thrown in jail. Or tossed out of Poland. All of which would have been bad. I think.

And he told me to quit drinking and exercise more. And I was like, "Yeah, only ONE of those is going to happen. I'm not superwoman! So which is it doc, drinking or exercise?"

(Oh, and the "exercise more" for those of you who know me, was because he asked if I exercise and I said "I used to" meaning: about a week ago I quit because the parking situation was too bad and almost made me burst into tears so I had to stop going to the gym to keep my sanity, and he heard "I used to" meaning: the last time I strapped on running shoes was in 1985 - and I was 11 then.)

Updated - I should have posted a picture of the light originally. And here's where you can find one (in case you also have seasonal affective disorder and a psychiatrist who doesn't believe in medicine):


  1. What does he mean "light"? Like have the lamp on when you watch TV? Or be out in the daylight?

    I'm sorry you're having a tough time.
    (Hey, don't you bike?)

  2. Ummm, what about the sun?

    Do you not have the sun there?

    Cause you could totally spend that cash on presents for me.

    Seriously, take care of yourself babe.

  3. Marinka - Yeah, I just don't bike in the snow and ice because the trails aren't maintained. I just try to go to the gym in the winter time.

    Kelley - Not so much sun here in the winter.

  4. My own blog readers diagnosed ME with S.A.D., too! So we're like, the SAME! Right?

    I wonder though, if my personal prescription of more time with my face against the window while drinking a glass of wine will work as well as your fancy light?

    (don't mind me. I have been up since 3 am...)

  5. I saw the same guy and I got some temporary drugs. You have to play up the drama with these people. Ironically, if you went to a regular doctor they would have no qualms about issuing you medication. So, you may want to see a doctor when you go home.

    Hang in there!

  6. Kylie, for what it's worth, I would swear I have a similar issue. And I do exercise, so pooh-pooh to your doc, exercise doesn't fix everything. (I also quit going to the gym because of parking and crowding issues. I got myself a Pilates DVD and I now work out in front of the TV in the living room. So far, so good!)

    And if you ever feel like sharing some of the sad/depressing stuff, go for it. I have also shied away from sharing that sort of stuff on my blog so far, for the same reason you described. (Heehee, you put it so well!) But...I partly started reading and writing blog posts because I found it reassuring to know that others have the same struggles I do.

    But it is up to you of course, dahling! I will read regardless :-)

  7. He won't give you drugs and he wants you to stop drinking? What a quack!

  8. I felt the same thing when I was in Detroit for 2 years (though never officially diagnosed or anything). Us Houstonians are just used to getting some regular sunlight. I got so bad that one day I jsut invited myself over to some aquaitences house while they were havign a dinner party. Luckily they were extremely welcoming and became some of the best friends I have ever had. I am not sure if you can get them in Poland, but you can get regular bulbs that go into normal lights that mimic daylight. They are a little more expensive, but no where near $200 and this you can put in multiple rooms of your house so EVERYONE can benefit :)


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