Friday, January 09, 2009

Having a Bad Day? Try the DPS.

Over our Christmas holidays, I earned my motorcycle license. That's right, I am now legally able to drive a motorcycle (really, really poorly...). The state of Texas will apparently give licenses to anyone. Although...

The easy way to get my motorcycle license was to go back to my "home" state and take a motorcycle safety course, then go to the DPS (Department of Public Safety) and have them add the "M" class to my license.

I finished the course (on the only cold, rainy day they had all year in Houston) and went to the DPS the next day. If you are ever having a bad day, just go stand in line at the DPS and people watch and eavesdrop on conversations.

To start with, a young man (probably about 18) walked in behind me in line. He loudly told everyone that he had been there at 7:30 that morning (this was about 8) but had been told that he had to go take a drug and alcohol class before he could renew his license. If the volume with which he told this story was any evidence, he was very proud of this.

The couple behind him in line asked him if he had ever had a DUI (they were probably in their mid to late 30s). He assured them that no, he had never had a DUI. He continued to loudly complain about this until someone asked him if he had ever been busted with drugs. At which point he said, "Well, the cops caught me with a joint once, but that's supposed to fall off your record when you're 18."

Um, yeah.

Then there was the girl who was wearing the red heels with the maribou feathers around the top and capri jeans. Her nails were about a foot long and when she scratched her head, all of her hair moved with it. Now that I think about it, she very well may have been a he. I wonder what gender she/he put on the license.

In order to get a motorcycle license you have to either take the driving test, or the safety course, and take a "written" test (which now means computer). The first 2 of 15 questions are your name and date of birth. The kid behind me failed the written test. It was at that point that I realized I didn't want to be on the road with most of the people in the DPS. Which is good, because I don't have to be on the road with those people.

I'm very sorry for all of you who do have to.

I'm still making my blog rounds, so sorry if I haven't caught up with you yet. I promise I'll be around soon:).


  1. hi kylie i viewed your blog its very nice and i like to share my link with your blog.visit my,you can get informative things happening around the world.

  2. so what's up biker babe? Congrats on the biker license! I found at Sunday that my dad bought a motorcycle that he is fixing up to drive. Very interesting..of course you won't catch Mom on it! Now that would be funny. (sorry Mom if you read this..but it would be funny!)

  3. you rock that motorbike!!! But, wear a helmet for God's sake.

    that is SO cool!!!

  4. That's right, RobinDiane, you won't catch your Mom riding behind your Dad. He thought it would be real neat with me wearing a black leather vest with Biker Mom on the back of it. This grandma is too old with too many aches and pains to try that!

    Kyle, isn't it fun to people watch?

  5. If biking doesn't work out for you how about going round the world observing queues and commenting on teh oddballs around you? Loved the post.

  6. If my timeline is accurate, this means the drug and alcohol class is less than 30 minutes long??? Now THAT is scary.

  7. My husband desperately wants me to get my motorcycle license but you have just described some of the people I don't want to be on the road with. The he/she will be to busy filing those long nails to notice me and the loud mouthed druggie - say no more!!!

    Congrats though. Maybe when the kids are older I'll join you on a biker ride through Europe!

  8. I've missed you, girlie, and now know I need to see a picture of you astride a CHOPPER.

    Yea, whenever I need to feel better about my own life, I go to the DMV...or ride the city bus.

  9. Robin: Ha! And then your mom did read it:)

    Vodka: Thanks. I always wear my full face helmet and jacket with armor. I'm a little tiny bit scared of crashing. Just a little.

    Judy: I will not try to convince you otherwise, but you would look awfully cute in a black leather vest! Perhaps you could get one and never ride:).

    Mo: I totally should.

    Em: I don't think he wound up getting his license renewed. I think he was attempting to get a different person to tell him the same thing.

    Heather: I'm ready! Biking around Europe would be fun (and I think safer than the States)!

  10. Jocelyn: I'll post a pic when the weather warms and MY Harley arrives:).

  11. Yay for you and your motorcycle license!! Woo Hoo! I have my license but don't have the motorcycle anymore :-( Keep us posted on your adventures!

    And hilarious story about the DPS! I think some of those people might have been escapees from our MVA (Maryland's Motor Vehicle Administration). The last time I was there (for my post-wedding name change), the place was full of similar characters.

    However, as I sat and waited (and WAITED) at the MVA, I also noticed a large percentage of ten-year-olds in the crowd. Well, they were probably newly minted 16 year olds but to me they looked WAY TOO YOUNG to operate anything more powerful than a skateboard. I am old! The kids appeared to be bursting with excitement, while the parents seemed to be deathly ill and/or terrified. I wonder why? :-)

  12. thanks for another hee-haw-larious true to life story! so, are you able to use that license in Europe? sorry, i may be a bit daft on that (lol)!

    -Steve @ fluxlife

  13. hi kylie thanks for your comment,shall we share our link.

  14. I was on the train going from NYC to my parents house and the guy who took the tickets was on his cell phone talking about his health. I couldn't believe it. All the operations he has had, when and how he is doing now.

    I love the cell phone but then again, I really don't


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