Monday, November 03, 2008

Blood On My Hands


We did it. We all did it. We made the unanimous decision to put E.D. to sleep.

She had been ill, kidney disease. She had developed incontinence (not that she was ever truly continent), had lost her voice, most of her teeth, and basically her will to live. We would find her at the end of the day, lying on our bed, not moving and barely making a squeak when she would see someone.

So, we decided that it would be better to let her rest than continue to live like this.

But it's hard. So hard.

I agreed. I voted. I spoke for what I believed in. And I did believe in it.

But I didn't want to be the one to pull the trigger. So I stayed home, ostensibly to dig the grave and take care of the little kids who couldn't go to see the execution, but really it was just me hiding out because I didn't want to watch it. I wussed out.

We'd had her for 15 years. Before Pamela, before we were even married. She came from an abusive household and we adopted her, but she was never quite right. She suffered from anxiety. Which helped her to fit right in here.

But now she's gone.

We'll always love you, E.D.

10 comments:

  1. Kylie,

    So sorry to hear about E.D.

    Although I think I saw her a total of one time in Ghana...I know you all will surely miss her and it is very difficult to lose a pet.

    Thinking of you all...

    Sara

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  2. I am so very sad for you and your family. However, the hardest decision is really the one that is the most humane. She is now in kitty heaven, where she can run and romp and chase little plastic mice for all eternity.

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  3. Sorry to hear about E.D. And you didn't even say anything this morning? My older dog is starting to have aging issues, so I will certainly be in your shoes in the coming years. We also got him before we were married so he is our first baby so I understand that this must have been hard. From what you wrote about ED, you made a tough, but the right decision. How are the kids taking it?

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  4. I'm so sorry. It's always so hard to do that. But she was suffering and you did the best thing for her.

    {{hug}}

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  5. Kylie,

    I am so sorry about E.D. I know it is a very difficult decision to make -- we have had to do it before with dogs -- and it is hard.

    But E.D. is in kitty heaven now and in no more pain.

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  6. Oh Hon....
    I came because I missed you and to get a laugh...I'm sorry you aren't laughing today.
    They are family members no doubt...I'm so sorry sweetie.

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  7. Oh Kylie. I am so sorry. I also have cats who pre-date my husband/current life and who I rescued from less-than-ideal situations. They have been my steadfast companions through thick and thin. I dread the day when I have to make this decision for them. It is the hardest decision a pet owner has to make, but that is the price we pay for loving our pets...we have to decide when they no longer have good quality of life and when it is time to say goodbye. E.D. will wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge - run free, little one!

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  8. Oh Kylie...I'm so sorry about E.D...hope the kids are doing ok!

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  9. Oh, honey. This pet stuff is so agonizing. I can't even laugh at how E.D. sounds like Bette Davis at the end.

    Hugs all around.

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  10. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about E.D. Big hugs!

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