Saturday, May 31, 2008

Kylie Unplugged!

Yeah, I'm just unplugging for a few days my friends. I'll be back to chat at y'all sometime next week.

And and old friend from high school wrote to Dylan a couple of days ago and said this
"You know most of us girls look pretty in high school and then go down hill...Kylie has looked prettier each time I've seen her over the years."

This comment just made my day! I wanted to say thank you to Jamie, and I think she sometimes stops by here and sees me. So thanks Jamie, you really did make my day-heck, you made my week.

Have a good break from me:).

Friday, May 30, 2008

The saga of the bike trailer part 3 (I think)

So here you go:

I'm officially a bike commuter. This is a terrible picture, but it's really, really hard to get a self portrait on a bike. This is what I look like when I'm riding around town except I usually wear a T-shirt (for added sun protection) and shoes. Those Warsaw stalkers that I have, you'll recognize me by the white hat, 'cause I always wear that (never mind that huge thing that I'm trailing that several people have asked me where it came from, and you never see anyone else with, the white hat is what will make me stand out).

Just to prove how stupid insane organized I am I have scheduled a party for next Friday night, when I will be out of town all week and that’s probably the day I will return. Yes, that’s totally logical.

(And for all those who read yesterday’s post I would never actually poison a cat. I’d much rather send my incontinent cat to pee on everything. Actually I’m considering that this would be a good way to get back at my enemies.)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dead cats? Anyone?

Last night as I went out to throw out the garbage (we have this weird little square brick "house" for our garbage) there was a cat on our garbage can trying to get in to the trash (the garbage can was open a little). I'm pretty tired of these cats because most of them actually belong to people and just roam around the neighborhood and get into the trash.

I'd been thinking of telling some of the people that I know if I see their cat in my garbage again I'm going to poison them, but that sounded too harsh. I'll just send my incontinent cat over to pee on them.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Happy Mail!!!

Yesterday I received some *happy mail* from *Dianna* (you must put stars 'cause Dianna's just that sparkly - and I totally mean that in a good way!)

She sent it 'cause I sounded sad on my blog. Now, never mind the fact that she sent it on the 5th of May and it arrived yesterday. She's probably thinking, "Here I was trying to cheer you up and you could have committed suicide in the amount of time it took to get there!" But it still cheered me up! I really appreciate it!

(an aside, part of the reason it took so long to get here is that we've had an extraordinary number of Polish holidays this month and they've all fallen so that it's possible to take a four day weekend).

One of the songs on the CD was "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge, which has inspired a scrapbook page...which is not complete yet. So be waiting.

And, thanks again Dianna! I really do love you guys!

Monday, May 26, 2008

My husband's doing what?

This morning, which is Polish Mother's Day, I received a phone call from another mother at Seth's school. She called to tell me that my husband is driving like a lunatic on his motorcycle and to ask a question.

My brain stopped at the motorcycle part. Today, as previously mentioned is Mother's Day AND Memorial Day. Dylan has the day off, but the kids do it was his job to do all of the kid duty this morning - waking up with kids, packing lunches, taking them to school and orthodontist. So my husband has 3 of the 4 kids with him. Now, he's an industrious sort, he COULD have them all on the motorcycle.

So after I got off the phone with her, I went to the garage to check. Yeah, the minivan is missing, but the motorcycle is still there. Is there a rip in the space time continuum? Is there someone riding around that looks like my husband and giving him a bad reputation of driving like a maniac? Does this mother drink this early in the morning? All possibilities.

And I think she asked me a question...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

And that explains everything...

Toby – “We are the Vikings and Blaise is the Mermaid”

Me - “Why did you make your brother a mermaid?”

Seth – “We didn’t make him. He just is.”

And a very Happy Birthday to Robin!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I Just Love You All

All I have to say today is that I love all of you! I don't know how to express it any better than it's expressed here.

Comments are just awesome, for every reason she cites and more. You all seem to get when I'm feeling down and leave me a little something to make me feel better.

Thank you.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Death and the Incontinent Cat

So awhile back I posted the inevitable death of my cat, which has still yet to happen. But yesterday when I heard on the news that Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor and then his buddy, Robert Byrd was in tears saying that he would miss him, I thought, "Aren't these guys pretty old?"

So I googled/wikied them and found that Ted Kennedy is 76 and Robert Byrd is 90!! I turned to Dylan and said, "When you're 90 it's like 'Knock, knock', 'Who's that at the door?', 'It's Death and he's got a taxi waiting!!!'"

Dylan said, "I do NOT want you around when I'm old."

On that note, a scrapbook page:

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I am heartless

After Pamela's confirmation, we attended a party that we "jointly" threw with another family whose daughter was also being confirmed. Following that, we attended a party thrown by another family whose child was also being confirmed, but Pamela and this child do not get along...this is all a rather long explanation for my current issue of heartlessness.

A mother at the second party kind of hit me at a bad time. She told me how adorable my two year old is and how she so very much wished that her son was still two.

I'm VERY tired of being told how I will miss this time in my children's lives. How my two year old is adorable and how it sucks to have a teenager. I really tire of this because I DO have a teenager and even though most people don't see her, because she can stay home, she does exist.

I remember when she was little like the boys. I remember when we made cookies for Daddy who was deployed. I remember playing dolls and tools and playing on the playground. Putting her on the back of my bike and trekking across Germany. I remember those sweet times.

But apparently, something that others forget, are the less than sweet times. The times when after the spinning ride at the carnival, they vomit on you. The times when they dump an entire cup of Sprite on your silk blouse and the couch of the person whose home you're visiting. When they pee, poop, or spit on you. When you leave the playground covered in mud, chocolate, dirt, or blood (or on a particularly bad day, all of the above).

They are still sweet times, and I have four children, so it's not like I don't like children, but I doubt I will wish, when my boys are all teenagers, that they were back to being those little creatures that didn't listen to me AND covered me in every imaginable substance. For now, I will enjoy the time I have AND try to teach them to be responsible, polite, engaging human beings that, I assure you, I will enjoy being around when they are teenagers.

I may be heartless. But my goal is to raise good people that will grow up and leave me...not necessarily because I want them to, but because that's what they need to do. And that's what being a parent is all about.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Acrylic Revealed!

And now, without further ado, the most anticipated acrylic project:

Yeah, so, it's not that great, but I had to keep it a secret because it was for Pamela for her Confirmation (and she reads my blog). It's all of her sacraments (so far). And because Confirmation was only yesterday and they didn't let us take pictures I'll have to wait for the photographer so that I can finish that last panel.

Dianna asked what kind of adhesive I use on it. For the first one I did, I just used the normal adhesives (3M adhesive runner, the bling was already adhesive, as were the chipboard letters). For Pamela's, I bought spray adhesive and used that on the transparency and the pictures, but it seems to me that they both work just as well.

Mine were one sided, if you were to do two sided (like a book) you would probably want to use the spray adhesive because you can see the tape runner through the acrylic. Also, I used my Crop-a-Dile to punch the holes (because it can punch holes through 2mm thickness, but anything thicker might be a bit much), but I would recommend using the larger of the two. I used the larger one for where the ribbon would go, but the smaller one for where the binder rings would go. There's not enough give for the smaller ones and I broke the panel RIGHT before I gave it to Pamela.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Just a page, kind of

So for all my scrappy friends out there, this is a gift for Pamela's friend. I blurred her face because I don't have permission from her parents to post her pic not because I'm a horrible photographer. This is on acrylic PLEXIGLASS, from the hardware store. I paid about $4 for a piece that's 50 cm x 50 cm x 2mm (about 20" x 20"). This piece I cut down with a box cutter to 8" x 8". So for my cheap scrapping friends and those who live where there are no scrapbook stores, if you were interested in getting on the acrylic bandwagon, here you go:)

Anyway, I kept this simple, 'cause acrylic is actually all about simplicity, the appeal is in the transparency of it. This friend likes black, but her mom doesn't like that her favorite color is black so I threw in the red around the edge. The letters are chipboard that I used my Tim Holtz inks on and I accidentally got the pinkish color in there, but it was a happy accident 'cause it looked pretty. I covered the letters with faux stickles (Tulip glitter fabric paint).

Sorry to be boring today. Hope you liked the "page" though:). I have another acrylic project I'm working on that will be revealed on Monday...stay tuned!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

You ruined a funny joke, you.

You want to know how to play a funny joke on a mom with 2 or more children (from personal experience this works really well with 4 children)? Put all of her children on antibiotics at the same time and make sure only one of them is allergic to penicillin. Be sure that all the other children are on penicillin and do not label the bottles with anything (not even the child's name) other than the BRAND NAME of the antibiotic. Then sit back and watch her head explode as she tries to remember which ones are penicillin and which kid she is NOT supposed to give penicillin to.

And a scrapbook page:

This one is the same LO as the other Syria page, but different colors. I took this LO from Simple Scrapbooks, the March/April issue. I don't remember the artist and I am not that inspired to go look it up right now:).

Monday, May 12, 2008

Heh, this is me...

Here's what I look like when I'm typing my blog:

Yes, really, just about every day. Right now, however, I sent my helper off to be helpful and I'll probably never see him again, because I think he just ran out the garage. Luckily, last week I locked the interior garbage gate because he used to escape that way.

But back to what I look like when I'm typing my blog. When we went to Germany, Dylan bought a webcam. His idea was that grandparents could chat with the kids and see them and it would be all fun and everything. We haven’t used it for that yet.

It unnerves me sitting on top of the monitor, looking at me. Watching my every move. Yes, I am paranoid, I can’t help that. But the worst thing about this thing is that it IS ALWAYS ON. There is no way to turn it off. So it’s sitting there, looking at me ALL THE TIME and IT’S RECORDING MY EVERY MOVE! I hate it. I seethe in loathing every time I look at it.

It feels ambivalent about me.

Here's a scrapbook page, since I've been scrappy lately:

I've been trying to organize my old photos and in doing so, found some to scrap. So that's what I've been working on. That and controlling my paranoia that the whole world is watching me over the internet... maybe I should be on Xanax;).

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I'm a kidnapper!

So I’ve had these extra teenage girls hanging around causing havoc living in my house while they’re playing tournaments. I ALWAYS have extra teenage girls hanging around so the only difference is that these ones can’t go home at bedtime. They live in Moscow, so it’s quite a commute. Anyway, since they’ve been here, there’s been at least 4-6 girls in my house at all times. Yesterday there were 4 and I said, “Let’s go to the largest mall in Central Europe!” They’re teenage girls so they’re all like, “WOO HOO! YEAH! I totally need new shoes!”

So we pile into the van and we’re one seat short. We work that out and head to the mall. Whilst at the mall, I ditch lose the girls amidst the swarms of people, pick up a hot biker in the food court and take the boys to Smyk. I receive a panicked call from my daughter a little later. Alarm girl’s mom called her sister and was freaked out that she ran away. Sister called me and asked if she was with me, I said yes. Sister called mom, mom called me and said that Alarm girl needs to come home…whenever…so I guess its okay. Can she spend the night?”

So I kidnapped a kid. Yeah, I’m a kidnapper. I don’t have enough kids of my own so I took someone else’s. But really, how am I supposed to keep track of which ones are mine and which ones are not? There’s just so many of them.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Why I shouldn't be allowed in public

Every time we go to anywhere that you find Americans, I am reminded of how my family appears slow.

-In the toilet (see there's an example right there, Americans say "bathroom" or "restroom") in the PX after I washed my hands, I turned to the machine on the wall. It had a button that said "Place hand here", so I did and then stood with my hands up to it - looking a bit like I was worshiping the wall. And then...paper towels came out of it.

-When the MPs asked Dylan what his MOS (his job) was he stood there and repeated slowly "What's my MOS?" like "Wait, wait, I KNOW this one."

-Whenever you ask if they take American money.

-You ask the wait staff for no BBQ sauce on your chicken and they tell you "It comes that way." You're imagining some strange little farm where all the chickens are genetically modified to come with BBQ sauce.

-Even today, I was in our embassy co op and I mentioned that I am sponsoring some teenagers. She asked me where my family was moving to and I said, um, we live here. Then she said, No, the people you're sponsoring. I was like, OH, DUH!

And a picture for you today:

The Polish translates to "Hobby for every family". But look at this close up:

Do these look like people who are enjoying themselves playing this hobby? The kid looks fairly happy, but dad looks like someone dragged him away from Polish Legia (the soccer/football league) to play with his family...and he's not even going to pretend. Makes me want to run out and play golf!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

You say it's your birthday!

Today is Dylan's birthday and our anniversary. I'm going to be sappy today, just warning you.

We've been married for 14 years and there's so much I have learned over that time together, but really I want to tell a story. I won't go into great detail, because I don't want to share everything, but a la How I Met Your Mother, kids, I'd like to tell you the story of how I met my husband (it just won't take me several TV seasons to tell my story;).

We met in 7th grade Texas History with Mr. Egland. I remember clearly when he couldn't pick up his books (back then corporal punishment was allowed in schools in TX, they must have made it illegal shortly after that) and I picked them up for him. He asked me a question at some point, and I answered (I was PAINFULLY shy and I was bullied, so I tended to be VERY quiet) and he shouted "She speaks!" and I didn't talk to him for the rest of the year.

The next year, we were in history again together, U.S. this time. I got to know him better, and I was in class with some of my friends so I was more comfortable at that time. I don't remember much about 8th grade.

For 9th -12th we had an on again/off again relationship. After high school, I met up with him again, we started dating. We got married. That's pretty much the story (there's more details, but again, I'm leaving them out).

Here we are then:Yes, I was pregnant. VERY pregnant (Pamela was born one month to the day after this photo), and I had just turned 20.

No one thought our marriage would last. Several times, I didn't think it would either. I didn't know what love was exactly, for many reasons, but Dylan totally did. And he's always loved me, even when I've been psychotic and not entirely sure that I loved him, but now I know that I have always loved him (well at least since 9th grade - remember that bit about being painfully shy...yeah, didn't like him so much in 7th).

Dylan always knew that we were meant to be together. ALWAYS. He's my lobster.

We have 4 beautiful children. A fabulously interesting, yet equally dull life (it needs to be that way, too much excitement can kill you;). He's a hilariously funny, involved, loving, ambitious person, who has made me a better person just by being here. I love him.

Here we are today, if viewed through Andy Warhol's eyes:

I have to say, I wish Andy Warhol lived here...then I'd always be pretty:).

(and yes, I did put that up on the red wall, it looks totally amazing there:)

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Happy Birthday to Who?

Dylan's mom forwarded us this email yesterday:

Dear Montana:

"Happy Birthday" from your friends at Baker Jackson Nissan North!

I hope you and Samuel are getting along well and that Samuel is taking good care of you. If you have any bumps and scratches, aches or pains, just come in and see us. We are here to care for you. As always if there is anything I can do, please call me at Baker Jackson Nissan North at 281-890-5656.

I hope you and your owner have an excellent day!

Kevin Allen

General Manager

How many things are wrong with this email? First, Dylan's mom forwarded it to us and she was the previous owner, so they kept her email address and changed the name. Second, we haven't had this car in almost 2 years. And does anyone think it's odd that a person has to write a birthday card to an inanimate object?

Here's my response:

Dear Kevin,

Unfortunately, I have passed away and gone on to Pontiac heaven. Samuel has found a new love, as I always hoped he would. Her name is VX-800 (sounds exotic, no?) and she comes from the land of Suzuki (I think it's in Japan). We need not correspond any longer, as that is frowned upon here, but I do thank you for your birthday wishes.



And here's another LO for y'all. I hand cut the title letters (since I don't
have a Cricut:).

Oh, and yesterday I forgot to say that was my take on Becky's Sketch from the May 2008 issue of Creating Keepsakes.

Monday, May 05, 2008

I'm baaack!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into Blogoslavakia...

So I was in Germany for the week - a place that I love. It was a not a fun and games trip. I was taking tests in order to complete my degree sooner and all of us had some doctor's appointments. I mean, Germany is fun even when you're not there for fun, but my brain hurt after the end of 8 tests (I didn't take the 9th one).

I'll still have more to share, but I'm making this quick today. I was feeling pretty scrappy when I returned, so I made this (and a few other) page (s). Enjoy!