Saturday, March 07, 2009

I Can't Help That You Have Psychosomatosis...

Dear Parent of daughter in Pooh's class,

I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate your going to the preschool director about Pooh and his runny nose.

I found it particularly amusing how you saw Pooh's runny nose on Monday and your daughter fell ill that night with what he was ill with.

I understand that your daughter has a "delicate" immune system. Only girls who are the youngest in their families by 10 years often do. Only children also suffer from this ailment. And, interestingly enough, mothers of these types of children often suffer from psychosomatosis and/or hypochodriosis. I believe they must be genetically linked.

I also found it interesting how you threatened the director that if my child was allowed back with a runny nose your child would no longer be attending the preschool. I thought you'd like to know that she did pass that on to me.

I also thought you'd be interested to know that:

a) Pooh has a medical condition that causes his nose to run uncontrollably ALL THE TIME. I assure you it's annoying to me as well. We have provided a note to the director from his doctor that notes that he is not contagious.

b) I pay for two children to attend the school. You pay for one. You will be leaving this summer. I will not be leaving this summer. I believe the director will take all of this into consideration when she is forced to choose between us.

Oh, and please pass on to your husband that my husband would like to see him in his office on Monday.

Have a very nice weekend.


  1. Sarcasm and pertinence in letter writing is a dark art. An art which you have. Awesome.

  2. So, how's things in Poland, Kylie? :)))

    I freaking love you woman. I ALWAYS know where to go for my daily laugh!

    Oh sh*t....I need a nose? What the.....?

  4. Wow craziness international style, thanks for a great laugh this rainy Saturday morning.

  5. Ok, so there is a case for parent's to point out consistently 'grimy' kids or kids that are sneezing or coughing, BUT that should be out of concern for THAT child. I have visited a few nursery schools this week and the quality of the school was directly related to the appearance of the kids. I don't mean that kids should be in uniforms or name brand clothes, but i mean kids who could benefit from a bath once in a while. A lot of these kids are in single parent homes where teh parent's are struggling just to survive, let alone notice that the child has dirt under his/her fingernails. In these cases it makes sense to go tot the director and say "hey I just wanted to bing to your attention that I have noticed so and so is ill/dirty/whatever. You might want address this with thier parent(s)." This is called haveing a VIllage Raise a child as opposed to the elistist mom you described. Teachers, other parent's, otehr kids all have an impact on our children's health AND thier perception of others. God forbid this woman has a differently abled kid in her family, will she not let her kid play with him because it might be 'contagious'?? BTW, I saw your kids at 2 different occassions, they are not grimy.

  6. You go girl. God, these parents drive me insane! and yes, you have to try and fly domestic, it blows. Unless you can fill up on chocolate chip cookies you are screwed.

  7. Even if he had somethign contagious, the incubation period wouldn't have been half a day. People are so silly.

  8. Fantastic letter! I second Mo - I adore your sarcasm! Sorry to hear about the preschool drama...and the hypochondriacs. *sigh* I see that these sorts of parents exist worldwide, not just here in the USA...

  9. I hate that. Parents who insist it was someone else's child. It will come back to haunt them though.

  10. Yep! I wonder who the director is going to choose - she sees the $ signs. I hate that when people haven't got the balls to talk to you yourself.

  11. Tell supermom to make a wall of tissues behind which her kid can hide whenever a sniffler comes her way!


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